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Summary:
Look! Habits are important, right? There’s a saying that comes to mind when I discuss habits and that is, “we are what we repeatedly do,” and your relationships in life are definitely going to be what you repeatedly do!
So in this article, we are going to discuss 3 AMAZING HABITS that can create some amazing relationships! If you’re single, doing this on dates will drastically enhance the bond that you two share and if you’re in a relationship you’re going to just LOVE seeing the positive benefits of these!
Regardless, this is about relationshipS, with a capital S! So while we will be talking about these awesome habits with regards to intimate/romantic/love relationships, there is nothing stopping you from applying these concepts to your friendships. Just make it appropriate to the dynamic that you have!
This is such a powerful habit that doing this alone can change the course of your relationships! What you want to do is find a way to lovingly welcome your partner every time you see them! This might be a huge hug and kiss every time you see them or you come at them like it’s been too long. Regardless of HOW you do this, the act of welcoming each other in a positive way can condition your relationship because it sets the frame in which you see each other. If you welcome each other in a loving and heatedly sexual way, then pretty soon you’ll probably be running to the bedroom everytime you say hello. If you welcome each other in a loving and “I-care-about-you-way”, pretty soon you’ll find that’s the new standard of your relationship. If you do it all, well, you’ve created something awesome.
The key here is to make the habit something that you do not miss. It’s easy to see your partner and just jump on the couch and start doing what you’d normally do, like watch tv. Whatever you are doing, it’s important to stop it and recognise your partner in the way that you see them. Make it an event.
If you have a friend that treats you badly every time you see them, pretty soon you’re not going to want to spend time with that friend. This is why it’s important to keep this up, and honestly, it won’t be something that is hard to keep up. Regardless, if you welcome your partner in an un-loving way, or come in ranting about your day, pretty soon you’ll condition your partner to be wired to either be alerted everytime they see you OR stressed. We make people feel how we feel, so if you’re stressed and you see your partner and just drop your stress on them, soon you’ll make a stressed relationship.
Instead, taking time to have a loving connection will not only bring you out of your stress but make your relationship the sacred and safe place where you don’t have to deal with the junk of the rest of the world!
Well! When I say honouring language, what I mean is that you choose to speak to your partner in a way that supports and cares for them. This means, even if you disagree with what they say, you still speak in a way that still recognises who they are and that they have felt the way they do.
You can practise this with the idea of validations. A validation is just something nice that you can pepper throughout all your conversations. Before you speak, if the other person has said something important or that is personal, take the time to validate that. When you do that, you validate who they are as a human being and isn’t that nice?
For example:
Your partner might say,
“I had a tough day at work but I really did well on the project!” Before you say what happened to you and your day or before you even ask them more about the project take the moment to validate the key victory here!
“That’s so nice that you did well on the project…”
It’s empathy, it’s a way of sharing their world and it’s a way of making people feel good and connected to you. It really enhances the two way street between you and your communication!
This is not only about honouring because it supports your partner, but it also validates their ideas and feelings.
If honouring language supports your partner, dishonouring language will blatantly interrupt and reject your partner or their ideas. When you reject a person and their ideas, you make them feel rejected. Now, obviously depending on the relationship that you want, it’s important then to consider what kind of relationship you DO want to create. Most people don’t really want to feel rejected, and pretty soon, you’ll push them away.
If we get into relationships because of how they make us feel, I find as a coach that most people want to feel happy.
This is a fun one. It can be something grand or something tiny! You can pepper this through your conversations in such an artful way, and if you want to learn that, I highly recommend you check out my Epic Relationships Course!
When you make something to look forward to, you and your partner are essentially sharing a goal and when you do that, often your nervous systems fire in similar ways. What happens when you create things to look forward to, you’re also injecting energy into your relationship, and the more build up and excitement that you have, the more energy is built.
It is like you two are sharing a goal or looking forward to something, you are not only creating an experience together but you’re also sharing the experience of looking forward to that event! This is important because it is experiences that bind people together!
This is what I find is so special about weddings. Regardless of if you’re somebody who wants to get married or not, when you create and plan a wedding, you’re not only making something grand to look forward to, but you’re also creating an experience that, when done correctly, has the potential to be one of the most binding experiences you two can possibly have!
It’s powerful like that.
Pretty soon, if you don’t have things to look forward to or experiences to share, things can get stale. The key with making things to look forward to is not that what you’re doing isn’t enough, but it injects energy. Sometimes people can get used to and as a result, just “go-through-the-motions” in a relationship. It is this energy that even makes those down time moments special as well. It fuels up your relationship!
Basically, there are many more, and most of these start with you and from a good place!
Thank you for reading! If you do want to apply for your free call, make sure to do it now!
Sharam Xx
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Sharam Namdarian is a stand-up comedian who became one after 10 years as a life/relationship coach. Seen on Triple J, The Hook Up, Channel 9/7 Today Show and more, he provides a unique insight into the world, because even among people, he feels like an outsider—he is still an alien.
Important Note: I have personally coached hundreds of people world wide, but if there is one big piece of advice I have to say it is this: “None of this will work, unless you do.” That being said, the advice and programs I give is tailored for the best results, but since everybody’s situation is unique and different sometimes no single piece of advice can work for everybody ever single time. What does happen is it allows you to develop a new sense of awareness for dating and relationships that is incredible. So if you read some articles, watch some videos and start to continually apply it in your life, your chances for success in life and love will increase dramatically. oh… and I am here on your team to help you along the way!
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