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Summary:
Look, for this article we are going to explore the concept of self-love, but in it’s most basic form. You don’t have to be fully in love with yourself, in fact, some people sell you that as a dream that seems like a good cure to a problem when really, it’s just a good thing to do. For this article, we are going to explore the concept of self-love with the idea of “being nice to yourself.”
The thing is, dear reader, I find that being nice to yourself can be one of the best habits that you can develop. To me, this means, outside of the feel-good feelings that propel you further in life, it means that you’re just not being a dick to yourself. It means, outside of thinking highly to yourself that you’re not putting yourself down.
Some people say this is easily said than done, but there you go devaluing yourself. Being a total ass to yourself and jerking your emotional state around. Sure, it might be easier said than done, but have you ever thought that you might be the exception to the rule?
FUCKING YEAH YOU MIGHT BE!? So now, we are going to explore 4 ways that you can be nicer to yourself on a day to day basis that can have a gradual build up and completely turn your love life around, and your life in general as well!
In this wicked world of ours, I find that it’s VERY easy to put other people down. In fact, at the point of writing this article, I checked my youtube comments and somebody called me “annoying” on one of my most popular videos that have helped thousands of people worldwide! What I am saying here is,
Do you judge others? Do you put them down? It’s so bloody easy to do this because you never see how it affects others, but honestly, all you ever do is perpetuate the pain in the world! The lady who called me annoying? I bet I’m not the only person she finds annoying. I bet then, living an annoyed life will lead to some serious problems down the line!
You see, what happens is that these thoughts gain MOMENTUM and momentum is what life and dating are all about.
Your thoughts and words and deeds towards others will ALWAYS invite more and more of that in your life. This means that I’m inviting you to recognise your subjectivity. Instead of labelling somebody as annoying or a jerk, recognise that their jerkiness is relative to your perspective, and that really their way of treating you isn’t ideal. It not only dulls the pain externally but shows your mind and nervous system that others aren’t really that much of a pain in the ass!
The language we use is huge!
This is sort of the rest of the article, so let’s just continue with that!
Again, for some god damn reason, a lot of people are trained to point out the negative in certain aspects of their life. In the aspects that they do well in, they are on a roll and are constantly looking at good things! In the aspects that they don’t so so well on, they are quick to point out the problems.
“HEY NATALIE! Good work getting a new job,” you might say! Natalie then replies by saying,
“yeah, but it wasn’t the one I wanted!”
WHO CARES! NATALIE, BE NICE TO YOURSELF!
You got the job, you did some grand achievement! Bloody count it! If you are quick to point out how it wasn’t 100% what you wanted, all you do is mentally bridge the gap between you and that achievement, and as a result, you also train your mind to focus on that. When your mind is focused to look at lack rather than achievement, you better believe you get more and more of that into your life!
Do you want that? FUCK NO! Focus on how things are going well! Even the littlest thing!
Did you get out of bed on time? GOOD WORK! Did you sleep in? EVEN BETTER! Everything can be a win, and the more wins you count the bigger wins you get in life!
This is a big one, and honestly, when I did this it was a huge paradigm shift in my life and I didn’t even recognise it at the time. Take some time to sit down and feel what being nice to yourself feels like. For some, it might mean doing good things to yourself. For others, it might just mean not being your own worst enemy. Whatever it is, the process of feeling it can instantly be one of the best things you ever do for yourself. You show your body and mind what it is like and suddenly anything else no longer becomes good enough!
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This process is akin to two metaphors. The first is of an avalanche. Often the tiniest of snowballs at the top of a mountain can build up and cause a huge tidal wave of snow down the bottom. The process of showing your body what being nice to yourself is like can be so huge that it can manifest amazing behaviours and encounters down the line. The second metaphor is that of eating healthy. If you’ve eaten junk food your entire life and finally at something that had more nutritional content for you, I often find suddenly people’s bodies become super hungry for that new source of food. It’s not really an addiction, but a recognition that the new source of nutrition is the greater and endowed food source. Much better than eating those Big Macs. This is also what this meditation does. For some, it can be so deep and rich that suddenly it becomes a lot better than being around friends and family who hurt you (like you may have hurt yourself), and dso, you start to make shifts in ALL parts of your life!
This is a common lesson that I slap people with. A lot of people get into a relationship because they think that is what is going to make them happy, and it might, but here’s the slap in the face!
YOU ARE!
If you said anybody else, you’re greatly delusional! I say that with the utmost of love and affection when I say that, and sometimes that’s because we have been taught a lie. We have been taught that happiness and love come from external means.
This is because we often confuse happiness and excitement. We get excited about things and call it happiness. Instead, I want to invite you to consider happiness to be a general vibration. A consistent feeling that permeates and effects all the things you think and do. Not a momentary drug you got from doing something.
It is to this extent that happiness can be discovered internally, and when we work together that will be a safe space for me to help you explore that and affirm that it is YOU who brings that in you.
Because when you discover this, you’ll discover that everything else in your life is a reflection of said happiness, not the cause of it.
Sharam Namdarian Xx
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Sharam Namdarian is a stand-up comedian who became one after 10 years as a life/relationship coach. Seen on Triple J, The Hook Up, Channel 9/7 Today Show and more, he provides a unique insight into the world, because even among people, he feels like an outsider—he is still an alien.
Important Note: I have personally coached hundreds of people world wide, but if there is one big piece of advice I have to say it is this: “None of this will work, unless you do.” That being said, the advice and programs I give is tailored for the best results, but since everybody’s situation is unique and different sometimes no single piece of advice can work for everybody ever single time. What does happen is it allows you to develop a new sense of awareness for dating and relationships that is incredible. So if you read some articles, watch some videos and start to continually apply it in your life, your chances for success in life and love will increase dramatically. oh… and I am here on your team to help you along the way!
Heal yourself and create the life you deserve now.
