How to Find Love

Ok! In this article, we are going to talk about love, where to find it and how to make it last. For a lot of people, they think that love is hidden. They think it’s hard to find, they also think it’s a challenge to find. Like a going to a job interview, or for some people, going to war.

So let me tell you my story, I used to think that.

I used to treat meeting people like going to war. I thought it was never how it should be. Even back when I first started out as a dating coach, when I was coaching people and making a name for myself around the areas that I grew up. I still thought it was like going to war. This, to me, was rather fucked up. This was not how it should have been, that love and dating should be simple and easy.

Now, if you know me, or as you get to know me, you’ll learn that I am a happy man. I’ve learned how to be unconditionally happy and that was through a lifetime of depression (that I’ve broken past), rejection, struggling uphill in all parts of my life, and making things harder for myself. A lot of people used to say that about me, that no matter what used to happen to me, I would always be happy.

But to me, that wasn’t enough.

It’s not enough to be happy. It’s great, but it’s also important to actually get what you want because you’ll never truly be fulfilled. You’ll have long-lasting questions, and long-lasting questions distract you. What if this could have happened? What about that?

Victim-Love-Mentality

This is a huge stain on the side of your psyche. I uncovered through all my work and my own life, that some people are victim lovers. They seek out people who treat them badly, they try and convince them to like them, and they train themselves to have such a painful mentality.

“how do I get him to like me?”

If you’ve ever said this, that is your mind slipping into victim love. It means you’re not enough, so you have to do something different, or CHANGE YOURSELF if you will.

I talk to some of you and you’ve got good heads on your shoulders. Those people don’t think that there’s anything wrong with them, and as a result, just want to know what to do but from a loving place! For you, I have plenty of videos and articles for you. Use the search in the sidebar to search for them!

So, for those others, who have at one point have said: “what do I do?”

ADOPT THIS ONE MENTALITY

Love is NOT hidden.

Love is waiting for you.

Love is around the corner.

and most importantly.

Dating, relationships, sex, love, can be ANYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE.

If you do not have this in your head, I cannot help you because anything I tell you will just be categorised as false, lies or just another thing that will make you walk into the firing line.

What does this mean?

This means you don’t have to work hard for love. If you’re working hard, then you’re officially working too hard. Some people are used to working hard, if that is you, get the fuck over it. You’re used to it, so get used to working a little less hard. Instead, ask yourself how do you want it to be?

Fighting other people is just a bloody waste of time. Trying to convince them gets you nowhere. Sure, it may work. You may get the result you want. A relationship, marriage, whatever.

BIG DEAL? Who cares. The big thing that I want you to get is a relationship that actually works! Most people are hell-bent on a relationship or marriage, and they don’t specify which so they hold onto it. They delude themselves, holding on because they were hell-bent on the relationship but not the conditions that it happens with. While love is unconditional, relationships bloody hell are. You want to get what you give, and you want it to be easy.

Don’t be the person that is used to being treated badly, because when you’re there, it can be hard to get out on your own. Often you need help, somebody who’s capable of pulling you out!

How do I “adopt this mentality”

Ok, so I have my methodology, and honestly, my coaching is fucking fantastic. I manage to lead people through some epic examples and understandings that getting a new mentality, vibration and belief system is easy. It works easily because we aren’t creating anything in you that you’re not. In fact, we are going back to what you already are.

Most people get into self-development or read articles like this to find out what they are missing, but you’re not missing anything. There’s nothing about you that is broken, wrong or unattractive. If you want a sample of this, and to self-facilitate, this, watch this video. Your life will fucking change so quickly, it’ll surprise everybody around you.

How most people grow.

Most people grow in layers. Like Shrek, saying “ogres have layers,” this is exactly the same way. We tend to have these layers that protect ourselves. The little girl, who was so curious about the world got hurt then she was too curious, so she learnt to protect herself. Then, she protected herself too much so she learned to express herself more. Then, she expressed herself too much, and hurt somebody, so she learned to be quiet.

This is not a gender thing just FYI, this is a human thing. We layer up and tell ourselves we are learning. While we do learn when we layer up from past pains, what we actually are doing is creating more problems for ourselves.

The big truth.

Here’s a big truth. The biggest fucking truth when it comes to relationships. If you do not connect with somebody in that primordial childlike state, all you’re doing is having the various layers connect. This is shakey and ungrounded because it is not based on who you are as a person. If you do not return to that state of being, your ORIGINAL state of being, your relationship has less groundedness. Also, if you do not connect to that original state of being, your relationship has fewer foundations. It is insane.

I cannot remember who said this, but,
“the point of being an adult is to return to being a child,” and that is bloody true.

My problem with online dating.

I have a huge problem with online dating, because most people are too god damn afraid of who they are, so they try the easiest way of connecting, but it’s really not that easy. I find online dating, while successful, can be just as painful and detrimental for your own growth and life as staying on the couch and eating hamburgers all day. The thing is, with online dating you’re capable of meeting somebody who decided to meet you while on the toilet. Are you worth that? I think you’re worth somebody who actually spent the time to meet people.

The alternative.

Return to your original source. Return to who the fuck you are. Watch that video above or talk to me and we’ll talk and I’ll facilitate that for you. I do free calls because it hurts me too much to see you guys hurting yourself (email me at harvey@gethimNamdariand.com). The alternative is to sort your shit out. The thing is, most people are too shy to go out and meet people because they think it’s something that they have to do. It’s just another job to do, hence the online dating alternative.

“I’m too busy.” No, you’re not, you’re too in your head.

“I’m shy.” No, you’re not, you’ve got shit to sort out.

“I’m introverted.” No, you’re not. It’s a style. Around some people, you’re also quite extroverted. Introversion and extroversion is total bullshit because people make it mean more than it is.

With the people I work with, they return to who they are so quick that it’s so easy to connect with others. In the end, they stop trying to prove things to themselves and start actually being able to meet people. It’s organic, natural and not something that you have to do.

Ultimately, it becomes something that both surprises you but not. It’ll surprise you because you’ve never found it so easy to organically meet people, but not because you’ll feel like you’ve been doing it your entire life.

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE I HAVE UPLOADED THE DO IT YOURSELF VIDEO HERE: