You don’t need a reason to be happy!

If you’re reading this, you’ve stumbled upon an article that is pretty amazing. The irony is, as you read this, I have not even finished writing it, and I just KNOW it is going to be good.

You see, dear reader, I’ve decided that I don’t need an excuse to be happy and I hope you don’t either.

We use the world as an excuse.

I want to drop an idea into your head now. Sometimes the smallest ideas can create the biggest shits, especially if it is the idea that you’re ready for.

To express this idea, I want you to imagine a situation where a person is eating some food. It is silent in the air and they are eating that food in their underwear. It’s been a long week and they sort of don’t feel so good. The idea of eating that bowl of cold pasta that night just seemed like such a good idea before they started. As soon as the bowl of food is finished they immediately feel sad, regret and disgust in themselves. Thoughts now ring through that person’s mind like,
“Why did I eat this bowl of food?”

If you’re somebody who’s ever experienced or had an unhappy relationship with food and health, you’d relate to this, for others, please play along. Now, in a regular universe that most people live in, they would argue that the food made the person feel regret. It was the following situation:

The person ate the food, then felt bad. It was the food’s fault that made the person feel bad and fat, especially if they had eaten a lot that day. Obviously, the logical conclusion from this train of thought is to eat less? Sounds almost silly as you read this, but isn’t that the logic that most people have?

Now, if you realize the thing that I am about to tell you, you’d understand that there was a reason why that person ate the food. The reason was, as they were eating the food, they were stepping towards the person they were meant to be. I mean this at an emotional level.

How would that person feel as they ate the food? They probably would feel good, and happy with themselves and content. Why else would we do anything?

The food gave that person an excuse to be happy, even if it was momentary, and that was the blessing that was soon followed by regret.

Why talk about food? Aren’t you a dating coach Sharam?

Well, that’s the thing, as your coach I uncover one universal truth constantly. That truth is our emotions that run the way. When we work together, you’ll discover the power of emotions at a level that you cannot hear anywhere else or experience anywhere else on the planet. You’ll also discover that often how we treat one thing is how we treat everything. We have a relationship with love, others, food, ourselves and happiness.

Why do people want to be in a relationship? Some would argue to feel good!

Why do others want to sleep around? Some would argue to feel good!

The thing is, and this is a big thing, that most people do not recognize that they are using that something to feel good. We have developed a sort of learned helplessness which is no longer serving us as a human race.

To illustrate this point more, let me tell you another story.

The other day I was going for a run and I heard a couple fighting.

If there is one thing you must know about me, is that I go for a run every day. I used to go for 3 runs but I decided one long run was more fun. One day, however, as I was on my return home, I passed by a house with a couple that was fighting so loud about timings and who-was-going-to-drive-who-where and really, it was an argument that could easily be replaced with a nice and gentle conversation.

You see, dear reader, people become happy when they are moving towards something that they are and want, and are generally unhappy and angry when the opposite is happening, and while we do use the world to feel good, sometimes, people also use each other to feel bad. This is what we can call alignment. It’s the part of the nature of my work, where when we work together, we change your emotional home. If how you feel all the time is good, you bring more and more good things into your life. If your emotional home is generally bad or anxious, well, we start to use more and more of the world to justify that.

While I did not hear the full conversation, it would have gone like this:

“oh you, you were meant to bring this person here, why are you late!”
“well, if I was late it was because you did this other thing.”

Really, it’s fighting for the sake of fighting. You can easily replace both sentences with,

“Love me, love me because if you love me and do what I want then I can feel happy.”

But I bet, if they had read this article, just like you know now, that they do not need each other to be happy. They don’t need to use each other to be happy, and only when they realize that can they truly give to each other and create a happy relationship.

There is beautiful harmony in happiness.

For example, if you’ve been following me on youtube recently, I’ve been creating some-what wacky videos. I realized one day that it would excite me to produce youtube videos that had a gimmick each time or just some joke or idea that I thought was funny. If you were to take my entire channel away, I would still be happy.

Some people think that if they learn to be happy unconditionally that they would become motionless or that they would have no reason to be in a relationship. The thing is that those people don’t understand and that you now do, is that desire is different from happiness. You can desire to create a business and be happy no matter how it goes. You can desire the relationship and be happy with how it goes.

There is a thought out there that some people want the relationship because it will be an excuse to be happy. They think it will finally get them to where they want to go, and then, they will open then the doors to how they want to feel. The truth is, the simple, profound truth is a lot easier to grasp.

You get into a relationship because you’re happy. Because you can feel all the things that a relationship will give you unconditionally. Not to become happy, not as an excuse to be happy, but an example of your happiness.

That when you were happy, you opened your heart up.

That when you were happy, you weren’t thinking about what made you happy.

That when you were happy, you joked, laughed and gave to others in such a way that they wanted to spend more time with you.

You realized then that you were happy. Truly happy. Unconditionally. That the world was sweeter, more beautiful and as a result, everything in your life became a reflection of that.

Thank you for reading.

Sharam Namdarian