Hey there! So, you’re dating somebody and suddenly he starts to push back, maybe he’s stopped texting you and you really want him to text back. Now you might be worried about how he is, and since he isn’t texting you back, you’re not quite sure what to do next… if only he communicated better you’d be able to be clear about everything in relationship with him!
Well, in this article, we are going to be talking about exactly that. Why he hasn’t texted you back, and how to get him to do so! Stay tuned! Make sure you read every word because I don’t want you to skip to sections and miss key understandings!
There are a number of reasons why somebody stops communication…
Look, there are a number of reasons why somebody stops communication. They feel afraid, they feel intimidated or they aren’t sure how to talk. Regardless, it all boils down to one major idea: They are trying to look after themselves. This is a huge idea because honestly, it’s what they always were trying to do. They were trying to look after themselves through dating you and they were trying to look after themselves through pulling away. Really, just like all humans, they are trying to do their best to better everybody around them and themselves as well. This can be difficult at times because if they feel that you like them, and he/she doesn’t know what to do about it, it can be easier to fade away rather than to communicate their feelings.
Maybe they feel like their feelings won’t be herd, maybe they feel like they will hurt you or maybe they don’t even know what they are feeling yet! Regardless, pushing a person in this situation to communicate will only do one thing, push them away.
This means, no big long text messages, no attempts at calling them, but a very simple text message that you can send that can work if there is still hope for the relationship.
Before I tell you the text message
Before I tell you the text message, I want you to recognize something. If somebody is moving away from you, there is a reason. Their energy is moving away, and sort of like emotional jujitsu, you need to work with them and their energy. It is very easy, especially for the inexperienced, to want to try and pull that person back, help them come back to you or even force them to. To send them streams of messages, try and call them or even do nothing about it and secretly hate on them or wish for them to contact you.
At this point, they might have pulled away for a unique reason, but time after time, I’ve always seen it turn into the same situation. He might have started to pull away for one reason but is now doing it because the attempts to get him back insinuate that it is more about you than about him (or really, there is no sense of quality) and that your happiness or sense of emotional stability is reliant on him coming into your life or not. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH EMOTIONAL WEIGHT TO PUT ON SOMEBODY. Sometimes when we NEED somebody in our life, we are taking energy away from them, as a result, we drain them which is the VERY REASON WHY THEY MOVED AWAY!
So what text message should you send them?
Well, of course, it is nuanced from situation to situation, but I’ve always seen a text message like the one I am going to tell you below really work out well. The text message goes as follows:
“Hey, I love and care about you but I’ll leave you be for now. If you’re ever ready to talk, I am here. I hope you’re doing well.”
Now, if you’re not “in love” per se, don’t say, love, just say care, but it’s really simple. You’re communicating the following:
I care about you, I respect your feelings, I am here if you need me but go work on yourself. It is clear that’s what you need to do.
Now, what do you do after this? Sometimes he might reply but you need to GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE! The very reason why he is being pushed away will be completely solved if you start placing your life more as a priority so he can feel like you have a life with you, rather than BEING your entire life.
Now, what kinds of responses will you expect from a message like this?
ONE: No response. This is still a response. Now go live your life!
TWO: You will be thanked for your love and that’s it for now. Now go live your life!
THREE: He’ll realize that he needs you in his life. STILL, go LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Now, I joke about the whole go living your life thing, but every time I have encountered a situation like this, the person usually has an amazing life going on, everything sorted, but when they are in their love life situation, they often do not demonstrate that at all, and now the person they are dating thinks and feels that they are the only thing going for them, which is WAY too much responsibility for one person. Usually, people who have some issues in their love life will usually have it because they treat it with some auspicious nature that it shouldn’t be treated. They “put it up on a pedestal” so to say, which ultimately pushes that person away.
Your partner wants to experience YOU, the real you, not the you that is only a sliver of one part of you. When we think love is different or we treat it with an ivory glove, we end up only ever experessing a tiny part of who we are because we are afraid of breaking it, which, as always, is usually the reason why it breaks!