When things go bad and why that’s a good thing

Have you ever noticed how bad times of our life always turn into something good? Do you know why that is?

While a lot of things in life can go wrong, and in this period of time that is especially so, there is a way to turn everything around, but not the way it seems.

Most of the times, when things go bad in our lives, some people would say:
“As long as you learn from it, that’s good,” but I have found this old adage to be missing something.

You can keep learning and learning and learning, and still repeat the same situation over and over and over again?

Why is this? Because life has a tendency to repeat itself until something changes. Something always has to change, otherwise, it will and always will repeat itself. I used to say that “Life gives you what you fear the most” but even that isn’t true.

The truth is, I’ve emailed you a lot in the past about letting go. It seems to be the only thing I ever really talk about (and honestly, at home I talk about it to my partner all the time). When we let go of something, it has the potentiality to change the trajectory of our lives for good.

So, when good things go bad, we are given an option: to truly let go of something. To let go of fear, hate, anger, anxiety, all that. 

OTHERWISE, and I do say this as a big otherwise, life will bring you back to that situation. There IS actually something for you to learn in that situation, and that is to LET GO of something.

Once you have, it feels like you are set free from that very thing and set free.

Let me share a personal story to illustrate this point: 
It happened this week actually.

I’m not sure if you know, but I am also a branding expert and graphic designer outside of being a life-changing relationship and life coach. It has been an on and off career for me and now I’m leaving it to word of mouth. If I can do one good brand and people like it and want more, that will lead to more work. And… yes… it did.

So I’ve been designing this project for my client, and I was so focused on making sure he liked the work and paid me that I lost track on the actual reason why he hired me in the first place. He liked my style and wanted me to bring the fun to his brand.

Eventually, the brand that I was creating did not look 100% what he wanted, and he sent me a message saying so. I was distraught. What had gone wrong? Was it me? Was I bad at my work? What should I have done better?

Then I remembered the rule:
Let go of your feelings. So I did exactly that. I focused on the feelings of pain, and decided to actively let go of those feelings. How that works took me almost 5 years to master (and now is quite easy for me to teach). It actually took me almost a full day to process and go through those emotions. 

After this process, I realised why he came to me:
He wanted ME to design it. I was so afraid and so scared of losing him as a client that I had stopped myself from doing the very work that needed to be done.

So I decided I didn’t care anymore. I’d design what I thought looked good (with consideration to the original brief). In the end, when I showed him the work he was jumping around like a kid with a new toy. 

We hit the nail on the head, made sure it worked and he loved it.

The moral of this story is simple:
Life will keep bringing you back to the same situation until you do what needs to be done there: that is to let go.

You know, this exact same story is often I see when I am coaching relationships, life and love and sex and all that. I often get people to let go of stuff, and they realise how easy life works. They let go of their fears and all that is left is love.

I’m not saying this is easy, not at all, because sometimes the process is painful, but it IS the process. I’ve dedicated my life to figuring out how and why people work, and the common function is always the same. You see it in movies, people have written books about it. Philosophers talk about it and psychologists talk about it.

Once you have let go of what holds you down, your vibration raises up.

I want to keep writing this email, but it’s time to send it. Maybe, just maybe you’ll email back and let me know a similar story in your life.

Thanks.

Sharam